Of dancing and freedom

Today was the first day of the rest of my life. Why did I spend it at the arcade?

I show up at the arcade in Fredericksberg. I hate that one because the pads on the DDR machine suck. But, I'm up here anyways so I might as well play. One of the things you may not know about me is that I'm a DDR fanatic. I've been playing for two years now and I play at the arcade a lot. It's just another one of my nerdy passions that I'd rather no one knew about.

So today, I went over to the machine and I started playing for a little bit. There are still a lot of people who aren't used to seeing DDR being played beyond Beginner mode, so I tend to attract some crowds. That was fine, I don't mind showing off for people. I was doing pretty well, despite the shitty pads I had to play on.

And then I decided to play The legend of MAX...probably the stupidest decision I could have made.

You see, for those of you who don't speak DDR, The legend of MAX is one of the hardest songs in the game. It's pretty fast, and it's pretty intense. I'd only passed it once before. And now, I was feeling so good, I felt like I could stand a chance of doing it again. But with all these people watching, I wasn't sure if I could.

It wasn't so much that I was tired. I was feeling great. But I have a strange way of passing that song.

Flashback to August 2007. I'm at the mall, really late at night, the place is almost empty. It's just Man against Machine. I was on fire. I decided to go for it. But I was wearing these shorts...it was the end of the summer and I was so hot from playing that I guess I was really sweaty. Halfway through the song, the unthinkable happens. My dick comes flying out of my fly. At first, I freaked out. But no one was watching, and I was so close to the end. I kept playing; I kept dancing. It turned out that, with my dick able to breathe the fresh air, I was cool enough to finish the song. Don't ask me how, but being that free and comfortable while playing made all the difference.

Back to the present day, I'm about to do this song, see. And all I have going through my mind is "how can I pass this in these pants?" And then, a thought. No, that's ridiculous. Everyone's watching, I couldn't! But at the same time, everyone was expecting me to do it. I had the song selected. It was set. I was going to play this song. Whether or not I passed depended on one little factor that swung between my sweaty thighs.

I took it out right there.

Children screamed as their parents covered their eyes. Gasps and shouts of "Is that...his...?" and "Put that thing away! What are you doing?" Pandemonium ensued. Panic and anarchy, shouts and cries, fear and death! Well, no one died. But there it was. My dick. In my hands.

And that was the second time I passed The legend of MAX.


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