Of missing you (the reader) and missed opportunities

Alas, I am blogging again.

I took a good month off to collect my thoughts, finish up some summer classes (which are still not done) and do other things besides blogging, like picking my nose and having fun with friends. But, now that both of those things are gone, I am back to doing what I dread having to do even though it's not my job and no one appreciates.

As punishment for not missing me enough, I'll tell you the most boring story I can think of.

Okay, so yesterday was commissary day at my house. Commissary day is pretty much Christmas around here; we're usually just dying of starvation and cursing the name of God by then. Personally, I was in need of shower soap. Thankfully, we got two bottles of it. While I was out on my run this morning, I was thinking about how nice my shower was going to be now that I actually had soap and didn't have to scrub my ass with laundry detergent. I get home and see the two bottles still on the kitchen counter. I grab one and head upstairs to take my glorious shower. It was pleasant and yet uneventful, just how I like them. The rest of my morning goes rather well, dining on last night's pizza, scanning the major cable news networks on the off chance that I may get mentioned, beating the shit out of my aging dog.

But later today, my mom asks me why I only took one bottle upstairs and left the other one on the counter.

"Jeez, mom, are you saying I'm really that dirty?"

That's what I should have said. It would have been clever. Probably would have scored a chuckle; entertaining my mother in the slightest is my aim every day. But what did I actually say?


How gay! I didn't think of the better line until, like, 12 minutes ago.

I've been sulking for the rest of the day, shoving cake down my throat and playing old N64 games ever since. I hate missing opportunities like that. Seems to happen all the time. I like blogging because I get to fine tune my jokes before hitting "Publish". Why, this very sentence that I am typing right now is the result of four rough drafts and sixteen revisions, along with two peer reviews. But all of the effort is nice, because, being a perfectionist, I get to make every word perfect before I post it.

So I guess I'm glad I'm back to the blogging scene. This particular post didn't go as poorly as I thought it would.

ON A SERIOUS NOTE: I'm currently awaiting an inline phantom power source for my new mic that I just bought. Once I get it, I think I may start some kind of audio version of this blog. Uncyclopedians, I'd love to feature you guys on the show via Skype if you'd like. Start Special:Emailuser'ing me before I start doing it to you to request interviews.


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